russianspidercat | The Cobblehawke legacy 1.2

It's that brain-frying and shitty cropping time again, where I post an uglacy and stuff happens and my sims fail.
Last time Philippa graduated after having established a crap greekhouse, had the guy I chose for her mack on all the other women on campus and found love in a conservative Christian.

Straight after graduation, it's off to lawn living for our heroine. It's not enough though so it's time to ~~dig for treasure~~ hunt for a spouse.

First (and only) stop on the hunt is the mall/club, created and named The Mall by yours truly.
The Mall was clearly having a lady's night.

Philippa was enraged at the male intruder of the lady's night dance contest.

Are my eyes deceiving me? It's the glorious Komei! Quick, talk to him!

"Be in your legacy? I'm flattered but I must pass, you're too unattractive for me, sorry!"
Komei, it only gets worse here on out but whatever, you made your bed (for now).

It's party time and Philippa gets a job and a furniture discount. If it was only this easy in real life....

There were no oceanic career opportunities in the newspaper so Philippa will stay as an drill instructor in a student's military...
Anything for the CV, I suppose....

All the girls continue to pine over blue-boy. For some reason, blue-boy doesn't take kindly to Shanna, one of his girlfriends, trying to serenade him. Has he grown morals? Has Christian here taught him some christian morals? Who knows?

The party is clearly exhausting for Philippa, so much so that she takes a nap in favour of a rousing game of kicky ball.

Digging in the dirt paid of big time and now Philippa can have walls!

"Oh gross! Your home lack personality-less paint and bland flooring! I might throw up"
There's one way to fix that....

"Oh Christian, will you marry me? My life lacks stability and a good Christian."
Of course Christian said yes, he's such a doll.

A quick pre-martial graveyard date....

Completed by an ugly gate. Chrisitan is so happy that the haphazardly placed graves and flat-looking gate can't bring him down.

To avoid glitches, I moved Christian in before the wedding. That also mean they can have a proper wedding party too!
Christian, like Philippa is a knowledge sim.

The romantic event has spurred some of their college buddies to find romance, even if a simian pug is fouling up the scene.

After spending all the money Christian brought in on a proper house, nothing was left for proper wedding attire, furniture or happy expressions (or guests, apparently...).

No stat pictures for Christian but his LTW is to become a mad scientist. Seems out of character but okay then.
The first step to becoming a mad scientist involves eating intelligence-inducing candy. I need to go shop where these guys go on their candy-run!

A handsome kitty walked by but left before Philippa could adopt it. Much sad.

Who'd have thought asking college sims to march semi-nude wouldn't work as a punishment??

Our "knowledge" sim rolled a want to throw a party (like she does every damn day) so I thought it was high time I tried the new year's bash again. Roxie thinks it's a stupid idea.

Oh my, someone is afraid of fireworks (or had some fireworks in bed last night!).

The party was a success despite baby new year glitching out and the simian pug having a sensory overload.
Pfft, what a noob! He should know that parties only exist for sensory overloads and are therefore awful.

One of the bed fireworks just blew up inside of Philippa's belly.

Christian is a great caretaker and husband. He's always cooking group meals even if he's not good at it.

The simian pug has recovered from his sensory overload and if back to greet his fellow secret society member.

Christian is very excited to be a dad. Almost as excited as I am to have him out of this terrible outwear combination *shudder*

Cute kitty came by again but still didn't get adopted, despite mrs. "knowledge" ignoring the 16654 phone call of the day.

Christian isn't perfect (despite appearances). He doesn't appreciate Philippa interrupting his eyelid inspection, even if she's giving birth!

The first baby of the uglacy is here and it's a girl named Tardar Sauce after the one and only grumpy cat!
This uglacy is going to be named after only famous internet animals so expect some weird names in the future!

No one shall be left even slightly peckish on Christian's watch!

Christian needs more logic licorice!

After the demotion, Chrisitan was so distraught that he STARVED TO DEATH!

"Tsk, tsk. Another materialistic sim starves itself for work. When will they learn to stop and smell the roses?"
More like "stop and smell the corpse flower."....

"Pleeeeeeease don't take him! Then I'll be single mother AND a legacy founder and who'll cook for me then!"

Grimmie's "pick a hand" skill is about as bad as his posture so Philippa naturally got her Christian back.

In the demotion and death caos, Tardar Sauce grew up. She clearly got her mother's ears.

Christian would rather pkay with his toy robot than bond with his daughter.

After what feels like an eternity, Philippa finds an opening in the Oceanography career and starts by getting a promotion.

And follows it with getting docked a day's wages....
Win some, lose some I guess.

Tardar Sacue, while ill-documented, remains well-loved and cared for and grew up well. And in dire need of another skirt or pants.

I need more options for ugly so it's go time again.

This pregnancy, like the previous one, is easy on Philippa. Here's hoping for many more of such.

It only took until the second attempt to get a bathroom birth!

https://i.imgur.com/ZdtULx4.png

"The toilet is mine! Drop a deuce elsewhere!"
Uh, Tardar Sauce, pretty sure your mom has to drop something more delicate than that...

"And then, just as she was about to pee herself, I gave birth to my two boys, Fatso and Bento!
"HAHAHA *SNORT *GIGGLE*!"

What, you thought this was one of those legacies that care about simbabies? Nah, man, funny foot-chewing yoga poses are better!

And...indoor butterfly-catching.... too....

Ah, finally, picture of Fatso and Bento. I can already guess who'll be the favoured one here...

No Cobblehawke party is complete without a little greekhouse drama. I suspect that Roxie and Philippa's punk friend are either duking it out over Jonah or who's the spikiest gal on campus. There can be only one!

Here's the first "proper" picture of the twins. Bento is the one being taught to talk while Fatso is hugging his mother's spinal column.

Tardar Sauce continues to be ignored but happy.

Philippa keeps climbing the Oceanic ladder and the popularity curse keeps haunting the members of this family. All these sims want are FRIENDS, FRIENDS AND PARTIES!

Philippa, what are you doing!?
"Bento is the chose one and must therefore know all!"
He's not and you better bring him home!

"Mom is trying to run away with my brother to save him from heirhood!"
"But aren't you judged on your ability to have ugly children?"

Philippa must've remembered that too and decided it's safe to bring Bento back home. Or Christian super-glued him to his mom to make sure he'd be back.

Being a second generation toddler, especially a twin, means being ignored and sort of neglected. On the bright side, Tardar Sauce is doing great and the house is constantly filled with guests for these NON-POPULARITY sims.

Christian dreams of being the master of the robots but despite a near-full mechanical skill meter, he only has a bronze badge.

A proper look at one of the twins, Fatso. It's too early to tell if he's in the lead for heir or no.

Thankfully, Philippa didn't bring him to her workplace or he'd have chewed the equipment to pieces!

The twins' bad aspiration is not due to Christian and Philippa not doing their best, as you can see.

Christian isn't even bored by the potty training!

At this point, Philippa will never be Hand of Poseidon!

Gheeze, kids, calm down! If you waited a second, Christian would hand you another bottle!

Both parents wanted Tardar Sauce to go to private school so I guess I must try, even if they're both asleep. This won't go well...

In the middle of house inspection, Tardar Sauce grew up. Vince the creepmaster approves *shudders*

Tardar Sauce rolled romance (obviously), wants nothing more than to become a celebrity chef. She likes boys and her personality is sloppy, outgoing, playful and active. Not really a winning chef combo here but since when did sims care?

Vince is not impressed by her girly fear of burglars.
Lay off of her, her family is almost penniless and they can't afford to lose money.

Tardar Sauce is not the only one to grow up but the other's don't impress-ah Vince much (Oh-oo-oh).

Philippa tries to salvage the situation by talking about her far-off anniversary but it's not going well.

But she somehow did it, even if she stunk at it!

Fatso continues his reign of fail. No wonder Philippa prefers Bento...

A family needs a maid and we got the one and only (future spouse?) Lucy Hanby. She likes what she sees and so does blue boy.

Not everyone is impressed by blue boy's cool ways. Maybe Philippa warned Tardar Sauce about him (though why a romance sim would care is beyond me).

As a romance sim, Tardar Sauce needs some loving (even if it is from the same sex) and a new outfits.

Tardar Sauce (and adoptable kitty) approve of her cool jacket.

This just in: Melody Tinker is an asshole!

The toy robot channels everyone's disapproval over blue boy's hussy ways.

A new day, a new friend, a new potential spouse.

Tardar Sauce tries to woo him by telling him that she knows how to walk. Shockingly, our boy is not impressed.

I am never joking when I say the house is always full of guests. At least Fatso has someone to take his anger out on...

Tardar Sauce got a shiny, new makeover and looks to be out of the running for heir. She'll fit right in with her mom's spiky college friend, I think but we'll find out in the next update. See you then!